FAQ 
What is Rape and Sexual Assault?
How do I report a sexual offence?
What is Rape and Sexual Assault?
Rape is a crime. It is a vicious attack of violence,
anger and control.
Rape and Sexual assault are unique crimes.
They are not just physical assaults -
but a violation of Physical, Psychological, Social
and Spiritual boundaries. Sexual assault has nothing to
do with sex, it is a violent crime. The initial crime can
have a long-term emotional and psychological impact.
The person is often left holding feelings of shame, guilt
and self-blame.
Rape is a crime which is committed predominantly by men
mostly against women and girls but also against boys and
other men. There can be specific consequences such as sexually
transmitted infections (STIs) such as HIV infection and pregnancy.
In most cases, the rapist is known to the person.
He may be a friend, a workmate, a relative or a partner.
Many rapes occur in the person's own home or that of the
perpetrator – therefore the crime is often a huge betrayal
of trust as the person is raped where he /she considered
to be a safe place.
If you have been affected by sexual violence,
you can contact the Donegal Sexual Abuse & Rape
Crisis Centre for counselling and support.
Our telephone number is free phone 1800 44 88 44.
The Legal Definition of Rape
There are four categories of sexual offences.
Rape: ‘Unlawful sexual intercourse with a
woman who, at the time of intercourse, does not consent to it,
where the man knows she does not consent… or that he is reckless
as to whether she does not consent to it’.
Rape Under Section 4: A sexual assault that includes
"penetration (however slight) of the anus or mouth by a penis, or penetration
(however slight) of the vagina by any object held or manipulated by another person"
Aggravated Sexual Assault: A sexual attack that involves serious
violence or causes grave injury, humiliation or degradation to the victim.
Sexual Assault: A sexual attack with a less serious level of violence
Since 1991, a married woman may charge her husband with a sexual offence.
A man can now bring a charge of rape under all of the above against an assailant.
Possible effects of Rape
Immediate:
Physical trauma; shock; withdrawal; frozen;
panic and confusion; terror; inappropriately calm
and rational; irrational behaviour; dwelling on details;
recurrent intrusive thoughts; sleeplessness; denial;
hypervigilence; or obsessive washing.
Term:
Mood swings; self-blame/guilt; shame; fear and anxiety;
loss of trust (especially with men); sexual difficulties;
development of addictions; depression and flashbacks.
Remember, the crime has been committed against you and it was not your fault
If You Have Been Sexually Assaulted
Tell someone you know and trust what has happened.
Alternatively you can contact the centre and we will provide you with
a confidential space, information and time for you to decide how you
want to proceed. We respect your right to choose whether you want to
report the crime or not.
You may wish to take the morning after pill in order to
protect against pregnancy, therefore you will need to see
a doctor. A medical examination is important to detect injury,
and possible protection against STI’s. This is advisable even
if you do not wish to report.
If you are able and wish to report the assault to the Gardaí we
will provide you with assistance. The Gardaí can arrange for you to
visit a doctor or hospital.
With the help of accredited professionals specialising in this area
counselling can enable people to reclaim their lives–:
By opening up and talking about the abuse,
By experiencing and expressing their deepest feelings,
By challenging beliefs, assumptions and behaviours,
By gradually making sense out of the chaos.
The process of recovery from rape and sexual abuse will allow the
possibility of a full and healthy life.
Remember, the crime has been committed against you and it was not your fault.
Only you can decide when the time is right for you to talk to somebody.
What is Child Sexual Abuse?
Child sexual abuse is the involvement of a child in sexual
activities for the sexual gratification of an adult or someone
significantly older or bigger than the child. It is called incest
if it happens between family members.
Child sexual abuse should not be confused with normal healthy
physical contact. Responsible adults exchange physical contact
with a child in a loving manner while maintaining a warm and
affectionate relationship.
Who Abuses Children?
Both men and women sexually abuse children but the
majority of known perpetrators are men. Perpetrators
of abuse appear to be trustworthy people coming from
all backgrounds, and are often respected members of society.
In the majority of cases, the offender is someone who is
known to the child, e.g. parents, relatives, neighbours,
friends etc.
The Effects of Sexual Abuse
The effects of sexual abuse can vary greatly
from one case to the next and can include a loss of trust,
poor self-esteem, a sense of betrayal and confusion in
relation to sexuality.
Children often blame themselves for what has happened to them.
Because of the level of trust the children have in the adult,
it is easy for them to be tricked into sexual activity.
Perpetrators know this and take advantage of the
vulnerabilities in children. Children may or may not feel
what is happening is wrong and are often tricked or coerced
into secrecy by the offender.
Secrecy perpetuates abuse
People who have been sexually abused may not talk about what
has happened for years and some people may never talk about
it. This can leave the person trapped in a place of fear and
shame. It protects the abuser and allows them to continue what they are doing.
If you have been affected by sexual violence, you can
contact the Donegal Sexual Abuse & Rape Crisis Centre for
counselling and support.
Our telephone number is free phone 1800 44 88 44.
Who Abuses?
Sexual abuse happens in families of every social and
economic background and the perpetrators of the abuse
are often in other ways normal, upstanding members of society.
Though women do offend, the majority of known perpetrators
are men. The abusers can be parents, grandparents,
step-parents, uncles and brothers etc. They are all people
with whom the person would have a trusting relationship.
Children are particularly trusting making it easy for them to
be tricked into sexual activity. Perpetrators know this and
take advantage of these vulnerabilities. Children may or may
not feel that what is happening to them is wrong,
but are often tricked or convinced into secrecy by the offender.
Effects
Loss of trust – it can be difficult for victims who have been
abused to trust enough to form close relationships.
They may have low self-esteem and may have difficulty with
schoolwork or job performance. Alternatively, they can
become super achievers. They can become obsessive about
being the best – top of the class, top achiever in the
workplace etc.
They can be hyper vigilent – like a frightened
deer watching out for predators.
They may bury the memory of the abuse which may then surface years
later possibly at some emotional time in their lives e.g.
following marriage, the birth of a baby, or even coverage of sexual
abuse on a TV programme or in a newspaper.
What Happens?
Sexual abuse can be physical, verbal or emotional
and can include the following:
Exposing a child or teenagers to adult sexual activity or
pornographic movies or photographs,
Getting a child or teenager to pose, undress or
perform in a sexual fashion,
Fondling a child or teenager's genitals or making them fondle the offender’s,
or
Actual or attempted penetration of the child or teenager's
vagina, mouth or anus, with an object or with the offender's
fingers or penis.
Sometimes the effects of abuse can remain with the person for
the rest of their lives. They may live with low self-esteem –
often with disgust about themselves and what has happened.
They may find it extremely hard to trust enough to form a
loving relationship. Some people who have been abused can
hide it very well from the outside world. They may appear
to be living a normal, contented life. In reality,
people may live with the impact of abuse for years trying
to make sense of what has happened.
If you suspect or know of a child who is being sexually abused,
contact the Director of Community Care in your HSE area.
A social worker will evaluate the situation and take
appropriate action.
What is Incest?
Incest is sexual intercourse or other sexual acts such as
fondling, molestation, exhibitionism and sexual abuse,
either physical or emotional, when it occurs between
family members.
It can affect both males and females
and more than one member of the family can be abused.
It is not, and should not be confused with, the normal
physical affectionate contact which is essential in a loving
family relationship.
Children don't tell for various reasons -
fear, threats that they or someone else they love will be
harmed if they tell, fear of not being believed or fear of
getting a perpetrator whom they love into trouble. Sometimes
the only ‘loving’ contact the child has is the abusive
contact and they may not want to lose this. Sometimes
the young child does not realise that what is occurring
is wrong, until later on in life.
The person affected by an incestuous relationship is often
afraid to tell because of the disruption and stigma the
revelation may cause to the family unit e.g. Daddy may
have to live somewhere else or the children may be taken
into care. Incest can become the family secret. Incestuous
behaviour can carry on from one generation to the next
e.g. father abuses daughter and then goes on to abuse
granddaughter. Sometimes the entire family may need
counselling in order to break the cycle.
Fear perpetuates secrecy, secrecy perpetuates abuse.
They may suffer from flashbacks in which memories
of the abuse can surface suddenly, often triggered by a
smell or sensation. Flashbacks can be very frightening,
but they can be a sign that the trauma is coming to the
surface, and hopefully some healing can occur. This is a
time when professional support can be valuable.
People who are survivors of sexual abuse are indeed people
with a lot of courage, strength and bravery whether they
realise it or not. It takes courage to confront what has
happened to you and a lot of support is needed while you are
doing this. With the help of counselling, people can talk
about the abuse and, by experiencing and expressing their
deepest feelings, can gradually make sense of the chaos,
so that hopefully they can learn to trust and let go of
the past so that they may have a full and healthy life.
What is Sexual Harassment?
Sexual Harassment is defined in the 1998 Employment Acts as
"unwanted physical intimacy, requests for sexual favours,
any other act including spoken words, gestures or the
production, display or circulation of written words,
pictures or material if the act, request or conduct is
unwelcome, and could be reasonably regarded as sexual,
otherwise on gender ground, offensive, humiliating
or intimidating". [Section 23.3]
In other words, it is behaviour that is unwelcome and is
offensive and can have the effect of embarrassing,
frightening or hurting someone. It can range from jokes
or remarks with sexual overtones, the display of explicit
images, requests for sexual favours for job advancement,
unwelcome physical contact to actual sexual assault.
It can be ongoing and can seriously affect a person's
ability to perform their work with dignity.
The Effects of Sexual Harassment
Many people find it difficult to report, often feeling
that they are in a powerless position, that they may lose
their job or not get a promotion. They fear that they
may not be believed or understood. They can suffer from
stress related illness, panic attacks, sleep disturbances
and poor work performance; and
It can make the person's life a misery.
If You Are being Sexually Harassed?
Tell the harasser that their behaviour is unwelcome and ask them to stop.
• Keep a diary of the incidents.
• Report the matter to your employer or someone in authority.
According to the Employment Equality Act 1998, employers may
be liable for the sexual harassment of the employee by another employee,
or by a business contact, client or a customer.
• Get advice from the Equality Authority. If having reported harassment
to the employer, the person is still unhappy with the outcome, or if
the employer is the person responsible for the harassment and there are
no other procedures they can use, legal action can be taken; and
• If you need counselling or support in dealing with this issue you can
contact the Donegal Sexual Abuse & Rape Crisis Centre.
An employee should be free to carry out his/her work with dignity and respect.
What Happens Next
The Gardaí will prepare a book of evidence which is sent to the
Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP). The book of evidence contains
your statement and the statement of the accused. It also contains
documentation of any forensic evidence which has been collected.
The Gardaí will keep you informed on the progress of the
investigation at regular intervals.
The DPP will examine the Book of Evidence and decides whether or
not the case will go to trial. If the DPP decides that there is
insufficient evidence to bring a case to trial, this does not mean
that your allegations have not been believed, but rather that the
case would be unsuccessful due to a lack of evidence.
This can be an extremely difficult time.
If the accused pleads guilty before going to trial, the trial
will not be necessary and the court will pass sentence.
If a trial is necessary, it is held ‘in camera & rsquoy;.
This means that the general public is usually not allowed
to be in the courtroom. The Judge hearing the case will exclude
from the court those individuals who do not need to be there.
You may be accompanied by a parent, friend, relative or support
worker. The Donegal Sexual Abuse & Rape Crisis Centre can arrange
for a support volunteer to accompany you.
Common Excuses
The girl who worked here before never minded
It was just a bit of harmless fun
She/he was asking for it
She/he is too sensitive; and/or
It was a joke
It is not a joke to anyone who is on the receiving end
of sexual harassment.
Who is affected by Harassment?
Men and women working in all kinds of jobs can be affected
by sexual harassment. It is not confined to any special
areas of employment, but can happen anywhere and at any
level of employment. In many cases it is the dominance of
the more powerful over those seemingly weaker, either
professionally or economically. It should be remembered
that incidents occurring outside the workplace e.g. at
office parties or in the car park etc, may also constitute
sexual harassment. It can also consist of one serious
incident but it is mostly on-going.
How do I report a sexual offence?
Only you can decide if you are ready to report a Sexual Offence.
Procedure:
Contact your local Garda station as soon as possible.
If you have been raped, it is important that you do not
change your clothes or wash. This helps to preserve evidence.
You will be interviewed by a member of the Gardaí.
A suitable private location in the Garda Station is used
for the interview. You will be asked to give a statement with
as much detail as possible. This can be difficult but
it is important so that as much evidence can be gathered
as is necessary to build a case.
The Gardaí will arrange for you to have a medical examination.
You will sign your statement. If you remember more details
about the assault, supplementary statements can be made at
a later date. You are entitled to a copy of your statement,
so ask for it.
The Gardaí will interview the accused [if known] and a
statement will be taken. The Gardaí can contact the Rape
Crisis Centre on your behalf or you may do so yourself.
During the trial, you are a witness for the prosecution and the
main source of evidence is your account of the assault. You will be asked
questions about the alleged assault and may be cross-examined by the
solicitor for the accused. This is indeed a very traumatic time and you will
need as much support as possible.
Members of the press who are present can report on the trial
but they are not allowed to publish any information that
might reveal your identity or the identity of the accused.
If the accused is convicted, his/her name and sentence will
be published by the media but your name will not. If he/she
is related to you, his/her name will not be published except
upon your consent.
Counselling is a one-to-one relationship which provides the
necessary support and encouragement to enable a person to talk
about the experiences which have affected their lives.
It is the role of the counsellor to offer a safe and
confidential space to enable the person to express themselves
whatever way necessary for them to move on in their lives.
How long will I be in Counselling?
The length of time counselling takes varies from person to person.
The pace of healing and each person's experience is unique, so the duration
of their counselling cannot be predicted. It can vary from a few weeks
up to a few years but the majority of people feel some benefits after
the first few sessions.
It is always the choice of the individual whether or not they wish to continue
with the counselling process. There will always be time to discuss this with
their counsellor.
A counselling session lasts for one hour and we offer counselling on a weekly basis.
Are the counsellors trained?
All counselling is provided by professionally accredited and experienced therapists in line with best practice and HSE requirements. Clients of the Donegal Sexual Abuse & Rape Crisis Centre will always see the same counsellor and will be able to develop a trusting relationship with that person.
How much do I have to pay?
The Donegal Sexual Abuse & Rape Crisis Centre provides a professional counselling service, which is free of charge, to both males and females who have experience rape, sexual abuse or any other form of sexual violence.
What can men do to help?
Sexual violence is an issue for both men and women
Men are not immune from sexual violence and often respond,
as do many women, by remaining silent and suffering alone.
Most sexual assaults are committed by men. Both male and
females suffer the trauma of being raped or sexually abused.
This can be physical, emotional and psychological,
and can take years to heal.
Men can help by raising awareness about their feelings on
sexual violence, and by challenging rape supporting attitudes.
Rape is a violent act used to humiliate and control. When we remain
silent about a wrong it can signify (rightly or wrongly)
that we give it our approval.
Men can play a vital role in making society a safer place by
letting their voices be heard in their disapproval of sexual
violence. Men can make it personal – it could be your own mother,
sister, friend, wife, son or daughter that could be raped or
abused. It could be you. Can you imagine the impact this would
have on your life and other family members' lives.
What men can do
Speak up – when someone in your company tells a joke about
rape, let them know that you do not find it funny.
When you read an article that blames a victim for a sexual
assault, write a letter to the editor.
Talk with women about how the fear of a sexual assault
can affect their lives.
Be aware that a man's physical strength can be intimidating to a woman.
Do not ever force or coerce someone to have sex with you.
Do not assume that your partner's desire for affection is a
desire for sex. Both of you may not want the same degree of
intimacy.
Stay in touch with your sexual desires. Are you honestly
hearing your partner's desires or just your own?
Talk to your partner about your feelings
Remember, when a woman says ‘no’ at any stage and a man
continues, it is rape.
Being drunk is no defence. We must take responsibility for
our actions at all times.
If someone you know tells you they have been sexually abused,
listen to them and support them in whatever course of action
they wish to take.
Rape and sexual abuse are issues for both women and men.
Our bodies are precious and do not deserve to be violated in any way.
Myths and Realities
Myth: Rape is sex
Reality: Rape is not sex.
Sex involves the mutual consent and enjoyment of
both partners. Rape is about violence, power and
control over another person. It violates the body
of that person.
Myth: "She said ‘no’, but she didn’t
really mean it".
Reality: When someone says ‘no’ at any
stage and the act continues, it is rape.
Myth: People who are raped often ask to be
raped by the way they are acting or the way that they
are dressed.
Reality: Nobody asks to be raped no matter
how they are dressed or how they are acting. There is never
any justification for sexual violence.
Myth: Most sexual assaults are committed by strangers.
Reality: The majority of people who are sexually assaulted are attacked by someone they know.
Myth: She didn’t struggle so she was not raped.
Reality: Most women are too afraid to struggle because
of the fear of violence, verbal abuse. Some victims can ‘freeze’ leaving
them unable to struggle or call for help.
Myth: If a man spends a lot of money on you, he has the right
to have sex with you.
Reality: No matter how much a man spends on you, it does not give
him any rights to your body.
Myth: If the attacker is drunk at the time of the
assault then they cannot be accused of rape.
Reality: The attacker is responsible for their actions
no matter how intoxicated they were. Being drunk is not an excuse for forcing
sex on someone against their will.
Myth: There is no such thing as marital rape
Reality:There is a belief that women cannot be raped by her husbands. This is untrue and based upon the belief that women are the property of their husbands. Since 1991, marital rape has been acknowledged as a crime and a married woman can charge her husband with a sexual offence.
If you have been affected by sexual violence,
you can contact the Donegal Sexual Abuse & Rape Crisis Centre
for counselling and support.
Our telephone number is free phone 1800 44 88 44.
